Merry Christmas

Last night, after a fun Christmas gathering with friends that involved explosives (you read that right - it was a literal blast), I lay snuggling with a little boy who had finally fallen asleep after a post-party tantrum.

Too much fun was had, and sensory processing doesn't work so well after 6 PM in our house.

I thought about Christmas Eve, and Christmas, and all the things that it meant. I thought of past joys and pain, and present concerns and reasons for rejoicing. I thought about the gift of my babies, and the wonder in their eyes every day, and their joy and love. And as my little boy rustled in his sleep, I thought about the one Son who was born to a young, frightened girl in Bethlehem over twenty centuries ago.

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I don't wax religious too often on my blog, and perhaps that is my own failing. I come from a diverse family and have a diverse group of friends whom I adore, and I don't want to offend people or drive them away, so I stick to the safe stuff. Autism, parenting, existentialism.

You know, the easy stuff.

But the truth is that nothing in my life would be possible without Jesus Christ and the Father, because they have given me everything I have. Every gift that I possess is theirs, and my shortcomings are gifts from them as well, in my eyes. They are the things I must master and overcome in order to be the person that they saw when they made me. I'm quite certain there are times that they cover their eyes and shake their heads at the things that I do and say, but I'd like to think there are just as many times when they nod, look at each other, and say:

She got it right this time.

This Christmas has been a time of healing in so many ways. It's the first in six years that I have had Christmas joy and spirit more than sorrow and heaviness. It's the first that my boy can tell you what Santa says, or shows interest in a present (even if it's just for the paper). It's the first that my girl can run to the tree in excitement, or drag a book over for us to read just one more time. It's the first in a few years that a canopy of stress and tension didn't hang over the heads of my husband and myself.

And I owe all of that to the one whose birth we celebrate this season. Tonight. Tomorrow. And hopefully every day, if that's what we believe.

For me, being like Christ is a goal that I often fall short of. But I adore Him, and I love the Father, and I love every person in my life who helps me to walk a little more in His footsteps. I don't know that I'll ever be the example that so many are to me, but hopefully they can feel His love through my arms, my hands, my words (when they aren't bad ones!), and my actions. And I know that my children teach me His love, forgiveness, and patience minute by minute - it is truly through them that I come to know Him more and more each day.

God bless each and every one of you, whether you know me personally or not. Jesus is the Christ, and in Him I have found true guidance, healing, friendship, love, and peace.

Merry Christmas.